Happy Hallmark Day!

What should we be calling Valentine’s Day? National Hallmark Day? National Chocolate Industry Support Day? I couldn’t believe the lines outside Godiva – they had stanchions up to handle the crowd – stanchions! Outside a candy store! (Okay, they were giving away a diamond necklace with the candy, but how many people actually expected to win it? Life isn't that much like a box of chocolates.)
So I skipped it and went to the card store…and oh let me tell you. Picking out a card now is like a science. It's not just a question of where you want to land on the sentimental scale. (Rhymes + Cartoon Husbands VS. Poetry + Gold Lace Edging.)
It’s that the categories of card recipients have metatasized. There are cards To my son…To my mother-in-law…To my Co-worker. My husband noticed when he went to get my card that the entire section marked “To My Husband” was completely empty…but that when he walked around to the side marked “To My Wife” there was a full selection. Which tells you everything about the romantic life of American couples.

But the absolute best was a valentine…(drumroll) From the Cat. From the Cat. You gotta wonder whether you buy that for yourself from your own cat or whether you send it to your pitiful, pitiful friend from her cat. Either way, it’s just too depressing. If you’re even thinking of buying a Valentine’s card to yourself from your cat please take my advice and buy the big Russell Stover Heart shaped assortment of chocolates instead. Say that that’s from the cat. Much better.